


to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

by DREAMWRLD



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Explicit Language, Fluff, Getting Together, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Reunions, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:40:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DREAMWRLD/pseuds/DREAMWRLD
Summary: He might not be smiling, but Jeno has learned to identify a certain glimmer that appears in Mark’s eyes when his heart is up high in the clouds and his cheeks are rosy with bashfulness opposed to cold. He turns to him and reaches out a hand, pinching one between his fingers.“What are you thinking about?” He asks softly, and much to his surprise Mark doesn’t groan or grimace at his show of affection.“Would you wanna get a house like this someday? And decorate it so that all the kids in the neighbourhood can come see it?”
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Mark Lee
Comments: 10
Kudos: 168





	to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

**Author's Note:**

> hi! if you haven't read my twitter au, and want a little more context for this incredibley self indulget fic, you can check it out here! [twitter](https://twitter.com/wclkyouhome/status/1272345670674976770) thank you and i love you MWAH!

Jeno hasn’t seen Mark Lee since August. 

He’s  _ seen _ him, of course. He’s watched his life through photos on social media—seen his hair change colour three times in the past three months, and the proceeding breakdown that came with each because he always hated it at first, then came to love it until he got bored again.

And he’s been lucky enough only twice, to see Mark’s face grace his phone screen when he finally convinced him to video call him. Yes, Mark’s face was half hidden in his blankets and only illuminated by the coloured leds on his wall, but it was Mark. Right there in front of him. 

When Jeno says he hasn’t seen him, he means that the last  _ physical _ memory he has of Mark Lee, is his face in his rearview mirror quickly crumbling as Jeno drove away. 

He doesn’t like that thought, and he’s been seeing it flash in his mind the entire drive back to his house as the beach whizzes past him and little shops begin to dot the coastline. 

He slows down a little and takes in the sight of buildings decorated for the holidays, a lack of greenery the biggest difference he notices from the last time he was there. 

He passes the shop he spent his summer working at, and is happily surprised to see Ms. Nakamoto out front, bundled up to shield herself from the cold wind while pinning garland to her windowsill. He considers stopping to say hello, but he knows there’s someone else who’s been waiting for him, and deserves to see him first. 

When he pulls onto the street his house resides on, he can see Mark again. He sees the boy standing there in his shorts and a hoodie, staring at Jeno in a way that screams raw desperation. As if silently begging him to change his mind. 

Jeno can feel his hands on Mark’s cheeks, warm and painfully wet, and he squeezes the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white and he’s pulling into the driveway.

Without second thought he glances up at the window on the side of the boy’s house, but finds the curtains drawn. 

He hasn’t told Mark he’s coming yet. 

He had mentioned getting to come home for the holidays because he’d have a break from his classes and his job allowed him a Christmas vacation as well, but he didn’t say when he would make his way back. 

He isn’t sure if Mark will appreciate the surprise, but he figures it’s worth a shot. He hopes that he’ll get to see him happy—his favourite thing in the world  _ to _ see—his smile so big he can’t hold it back and his eyes lighting up the way they always did when he would see Jeno before. 

It’s like heaven meeting earth when Mark Lee is truly happy, and his face glows like an angel. 

Jeno climbs out of his car and stares at the front door of the Nakamoto house, as if trying to telepathically tell Mark that he’s here. It doesn’t work, obviously, and so he slowly makes the trek up the porch. 

There are no cars in the driveway, so he figures everyone is at work and there will be no barriers between him and Mark, but he worries for a moment that Mark might be gone too, having followed one of his family members somewhere. 

He knocks on the door. 

At first, no one answers and Jeno figures his intuitions were right and Mark isn’t home. Still, he knocks another time in case he didn’t hear because his music was playing or he was in the bathroom or something. And he waits.

Jeno focuses incredibly hard on Mark’s front door, a light wood that matches the aesthetic of the rest of the house and takes Jeno back to another time he remembers standing in this same spot. It was pretty much the same; he was waiting for Mark to answer, but that time he had a gift in his hand and he knew Mark was right there to greet him. 

When no answer comes again, Jeno considers giving up on his surprise. He must look like a fool standing there on the front porch waiting for someone who clearly isn’t coming, but something inside him convinces his brain that Mark is in there. (He thinks it must be his asshole of a heart that’s always hoping for the best—not that he minds, it just makes him  _ feel _ like a fool instead of just looking like one). This time he rings the doorbell and listens as it sounds from the other side of the door.

He keeps his eyes on the grooves in the wood before he hears a distinct thumping from inside the house. His head snaps up as the lock is jiggled and he swears he hears someone muttering a string of vulgar words. 

“Can’t even take a goddamn, fucking nap.” A familiar voice mumbles under its breath as the door is swinging open to reveal what Jeno has come to associate with home.

Mark Lee.

There he stands, thin frame swallowed by weather-appropriate (for once) clothing that includes sweatpants and a very familiar hoodie. He looks the same, Jeno thinks, except his hair is longer and darker and his face looks a little less sunken than he remembers. 

He stands there and he stares at Jeno with wide eyes, his fingers sliding down the doorframe painfully slowly. Jeno watches the way emotions flash across his face, which appears to be paling rapidly as all he does is blink his fucking eyes like a bug. 

The silence that hangs over them is heavy and hot, and Jeno doesn’t do a single thing to eliminate it. He just stares right back at the boy as he tightens his jaw for a moment, visibly swallowing hard. 

Jeno feels even more like a fool for imagining this moment to be more romantic when he knows that Mark Lee is the furthest thing from. 

Mark Lee is unkempt hair and intense stares and unpleasant words. He’s both the sweetness of whiskey when it first hits your tongue and the bitterness that follows when it’s swallowed back and stings at your throat. Mark is somehow a punch to the gut and a gentle caress of skin at the same time, and just looking at him sends a nostalgic surge of affection through Jeno.

“Fuck you,” Mark spits out, and it sounds like music to Jeno’s ears.

Mark’s jaw goes weak and his arm drops, his head shaking quickly as if he refuses to believe what he’s seeing right in front of him.

“ _ Fuck _ .”

Jeno swallows hard just as Mark is pushing out of the doorway and throwing his arms around Jeno’s neck, yanking him closer until they’re pressed together and his head is buried in his neck. Jeno has never felt something as natural as the urge to hold the boy, so he does exactly that. 

He locks his arms around Mark, mimicking the way he tucks his face in his skin as he provides a squeeze that has Mark choking out a sound that Jeno really hopes isn’t a sob. 

“Come on pretty boy, don’t cry.” Jeno rubs at his shoulders before Mark lays a weak punch on his chest. 

“Fuck you,” He pulls away, and Jeno finds himself grinning at the sight of wet cheeks and pouty lips, puppy dog eyes staring up at him. “Why would you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Just…show up.”

Jeno shrugs. “Surprise?” 

“Fuck you!” Mark laughs, slapping Jeno’s chest again before blowing out a sigh and roughly rubbing at his eyes. 

“ _ What?”  _ Jeno laughs, and Mark rolls still damp eyes. 

“Asshole. Could’ve warned me.” 

Mark pouts at him and Jeno wants nothing more than to kiss him. To pull him in so their lips meet. To finally catch what he’s been chasing all these months and to feel and taste Mark again, in all his semi-sweet bliss. But he doesn’t. 

He doesn’t want to rush, or to push too hard when he knows Mark and intimacy are a fragile combination. 

Mark just shifts his weight awkwardly as Jeno stares, before nodding to the house. “Wanna come in?”

“Of course I do.” Jeno smiles softly, silently trying to remind Mark that it’s okay to vulnerable around him. He’s seen it all, from the way Mark looks when he’s elated, to the way his face crumbles when he cries. He’s seen him laugh, and grin, and blush, and he’s seen him so devoid of anything that it hurts.

Mark blinks at him as if reading his mind, before smiling just slightly and leading him inside. 

Jeno immediately guesses that Mark’s family must love the holidays. The house is so warm and inviting, doorways strung with evergreen garland and red ribbon and the scent of gingerbread wafting over to Jeno. Right there in front of the big front window stands a tree, decorated with what seems to be an endless amount of ornaments that range from pretty, store-bought bulbs to messy and obviously homemade creations.

“Mama goes a little overboard for Christmas.” Mark laughs, scratching at his ear as Jeno pulls off his shoes while in awe of the sight in front of him. 

“Dude, it’s beautiful.”

“You’re a sap.” Mark rolls his eyes and Jeno elbows him, and they both laugh. 

The sound feels like home. 

When Jeno stands, Mark is staring at him in a curious way that makes him grin mischievously.

“So…”

“So, you interrupted my nap,” Mark grumbles, never tearing his eyes away, and the intensity of his gaze reminds Jeno so much of that summer day where Mark waltzed over, hot as hell and sticky with cherry popsicle.

“You invited me in.” 

“I know.” Mark hollows out his cheeks before grinning right back. “Come nap with me.”

“Oh…” Jeno’s front drops the second Mark turns playful and he swallows hard, a surge of nerves invading his stomach.

“Oh... as in no?”

“Oh as in, I would absolutely fucking love to take a nap with you.”

“Oh,” Mark echoes, before rolling his eyes. “Just say that next time.”

The next thing Jeno knows he’s reliving summer as he clambers up the stairs behind Mark, his wrist clutched in the boy’s hand as he drags him to his bedroom at the end of the hall. 

The sticky notes and photographs still cover it, and when the door is shoved open it’s just as untidy as he remembers. There’s a scattering of clothes across the hardwood floor and Mark’s bed is far from made, illuminated only by the gentle blue glow of LEDs that surround it. 

Best of all, everything smells like Mark.

“That teddy bear was just not cutting it anymore.” Mark states as his fingers let go of Jeno’s wrist and he shuffles onto the bed on his knees. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Now who’s sappy?” Jeno comments and a familiar brown teddy bear is chucked at his chest. He fumbles to catch it as Mark glares at him playfully.

Jeno just pouts back and waves the bear’s little paw at him. 

“Stop being dumb and get over here.” Mark whines, and Jeno can’t deny him anything when his eyes soften and his bottom lip juts out ever so slightly.

So he crawls into the bed and places the bear near the head of it, before flopping onto his back. Arms outstretched, he offers Mark an invitation to lay with him, which he gladly accepts. Within seconds he has a weight he’s been missing atop his chest, and a head of messy hair tickling at his skin. He wraps his arms around Mark’s frame and sighs, burying his nose in black locks happily. 

“Have you been working out?” Mark mumbles into his sweater.

“A little,” Jeno furrows his brows. “Why?”

“You’re much more uncomfortable than I remember.”

*** 

When Jeno wakes, his neck is stiff and his arm is numb, but his heart is happy. 

The sun is creeping down behind Mark’s blinds and said boy sleeps peacefully atop him, ever so slight snores emitting from parted lips.

Jeno feels comfort knowing he was able to so easily gain back the weight of a lover he lost when he left in the summer, and he never wants to move. He never wants to drive away, leaving the fading remnants of an unconventional suburban dream in his rear view mirror. He never wants to feel like he didn’t do enough, or say enough before he disappeared. 

And he never wants to sleep amongst cold sheets that press against his skin like the ghost of what he once had. 

However, he realizes quickly that he’s been back home for hours and hasn’t actually gone home yet. He might not want to leave the heaven of Mark’s bed, but he does have parents that are probably dying to see him after months of quiet rooms and an empty spot at the dinner table. 

It prompts him to nudge Mark’s head up until the boy wearily opens his eyes and lets out a low groan of confusion. Jeno giggles a little, to which Mark scrunches up his nose and drops his head back down.

“Dude. Tired.” He mumbles before pulling the blanket over his head and burying his body beneath it completely. 

Jeno pats the lump that he thinks is his head sympathetically. “I have to go see my family.”

Another groan comes from beneath the duvet, and Jeno can’t help but tsk at the stubbornness he’s come to adore. 

“Mark, I’m just going to have dinner. Then I have something planned for us.”

As if on cue, Mark’s head pops out from the blankets in curiosity, and Jeno holds back a coo at the sight. 

“Can you be ready to go out by 7?”

“Oh, fuck yeah.” Mark grins up at him before his fingers are looping around Jeno’s collar and he’s reaching up to kiss him.

It’s a bold move that admittedly catches Jeno off guard, his mind immediately wondering if Mark had over thought this moment as much as he did, or if he simply acted on the impulses Jeno had but was too scared to acknowledge properly. 

He decides it doesn’t matter, because he’s finally kissing him again. 

Jeno hasn’t kissed Mark since August, when the sun beamed down on them and it tasted like tears and desperation. This time, it tastes like excitement and hope (and a little bit of sugar). 

He kisses him back hard, and as he’s pushing to sit up Mark is shuffling around blindly trying to straddle his hips, his hands travelling to either side of Jeno’s face. Jeno grabs his waist to steady him, chuckling into his mouth as they part for just a moment to gasp in air. 

It’s brief, a head above water moment before Mark dives right back in head first as if wanting to drown in Jeno and his touch. 

“Missed me that bad?” Jeno teases, brushing their noses together.

“Fuck off,” Mark chases his mouth, fingers sliding down to curl around Jeno’s sweater.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Jeno remembers why he loved having Mark like this; a pliant, blushing mess in his lap who’s too shy to admit that he kisses Jeno so dirtily because he makes him desperate. Because _ he loves him _ . 

It’s truly a sight to see, high cheekbones flushed with crimson and lips bruised as they collide with Jeno’s over and over as if begging for more. And when trembling fingers pull at the hem of Jeno’s sweater, he forgets about going anywhere and lets his shirt get pulled over his head messily, leaving his hair sticking up and his torso bare. 

But Mark is there, mouth on his collarbones and keeping him so goddamn hot, and Jeno’s mind goes from home to heaven. 

“Holy shit you look good.” Mark breathes against his chest as he slides lower and lower, sending a sudden chill through Jeno. 

“Yeah?” He gasps out, relishing in the praise. 

“Fuck yeah. I’m the luckiest person alive.”

Jeno’s hand lands on Mark’s cheek and he nods his head up, the sweetness lacing his words making his heart skip beneath his ribs. He stares down at wide eyes that are so dark yet soft, and he smiles.

“I love you.” 

Much to his surprise, Mark doesn’t miss a beat. “I love you.” 

Those three words exhilarate Jeno and he grins at Mark before flipping them both over, any awkwardness from earlier immediately dissipating as his hair fans out over the pillow and his puppy dog eyes blow even wider. He catches his parted lips in a fast kiss before demanding,

“Tell me how much you missed me.” 

“Fuck off,” Mark rolls his eyes in annoyance until Jeno leans in and bites down on a particular spot on his neck that has him stuttering out a weak moan. “ _ Christ _ …” 

“Tell me.” Jeno breathes out over the spot, feeling Mark’s fingers curl into his hair as his breathing gets heavier.

It’s almost as if that’s all it takes to flip a switch, and Mark is suddenly rushing to get words out. 

“I missed you so bad, Jeno.” He says airily, and just to push him forward Jeno lets his lips touch to where his teeth just grazed. All it takes is a gentle pressure for Mark to start babbling. “You make me feel so good. So so good. No one else ever could. I missed touching you, and kissing you, and  _ ah- _ ” 

Jeno sucks just slightly and listens as Mark’s words dissolve into a moan. 

It’s satisfying enough for him. 

“You’re weak.” He grins against Mark’s neck. 

“Only for you.” 

“Took you long enough to admit it.” Jeno mumbles as he hikes the front of Mark’s shirt up, hand smoothing over soft, warm skin. 

The switch in positions allows Jeno to admire Mark a little more, because it puts him in control. He has more opportunities to touch and explore. And so he forces himself away from Mark’s neck because his body is one of his favourite things to look at. 

He loves the way ink covers so many different spots across his skin, depicting words and pictures that all mean something to Mark—no matter how little. 

He looks at Mark’s body like it’s an adventure, with so many new aspects just waiting to be discovered. After not seeing any of it apart from in his dreams (and the few pictures Mark sent when it was late, and the red LED lights caressed certain curves and dips just right), he takes his time admiring it. 

Milky skin blankets ribs that rise and fall heavily as Mark brings his arm up to cover his flushed face, and that’s when Jeno sees it. 

In delicate ink on the side of his ribcage, is a teddy bear. 

Jeno blows out a breath as he lowers his head down, thumb smoothing over the little picture that looks so damn familiar. He smiles, then presses a feather-light kiss to it. 

“Is that supposed to be—”

“You.” Mark mumbles, and Jeno marvels at the simple tattoo that manages to pull on his heart in just the right way. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Course it is.” Jeno whispers, before lifting his head just a little to place a kiss on his chest—where he can he feel his heart beating. “I’m right where I belong.”

“With my heart.” Mark says as if that was his plan all along, and that thought fills Jeno with nothing but love. 

“Yeah baby,” He mumbles, and immediately feels the way Mark tenses underneath him, his muscles going taut as his breath seems to hitch. 

“What did you call me?” He whispers back, and Jeno just hums, refusing to feel any fear for his brash choice of pet name. 

“Called you baby,  _ baby _ .” He says against Mark’s skin, dragging his lips over his chest slowly. “Problem?” 

Mark doesn’t answer at first. He breathes out slowly as Jeno continues to mouth at his skin teasingly, and he brings his hand to the back of Jeno’s head in a surprisingly shaky manner. 

Then, he swallows hard. “No. It’s okay.” 

“You sure?” Jeno can feel the way his words vibrate against Mark’s chest. 

“Yeah. But just for now.”

Jeno chuckles lowly before gently sucking a bruise above Mark’s heart. It makes the boy’s fingers curl into his hair tightly, and just propels him to laugh again and tend to the bruise with a slight kiss. 

“You’re mine, baby.” He drawls, one hand travelling to Mark’s waistband while he lifts his mouth to connect with Mark’s opened one. 

Mark just lets him push his tongue in as he blindly unties his sweatpants, turning to putty in his hands so easily. It’s a fascinating sight to see, knowing how hard Mark tries to come off as cold and headstrong.

Jeno knows he’s weak. 

His hand slides into Mark’s pants with ease and the boy practically careens into his touch, as if so desperate for that kind of friction that it electrifies him. Jeno uses this to his advantage and teases the boy with a feather light grip on the front of his boxers. 

To no surprise, Mark grits out a whine and lifts his hips, clearly trying to chase the phantom touches Jeno is so cruelly providing. 

“Fuck off.” He curses low, so Jeno does as he’s told and draws his hand away. 

He watches in admiration as Mark makes a pathetically choked sound before his hips land back on the mattress, chest heaving shakily. He blinks open his eyes and looks up at Jeno in a simultaneously hateful yet ever so slightly  _ fond _ way. 

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Didn’t want me to stop?” Jeno grins back at Mark’s clouded gaze. 

“No, I want you to fucking touch me already.” 

“Impatient.”

“It’s been 4 goddamn months Jeno,  _ please _ . My dick is literally dying.” 

Jeno will certainly not be held responsible for that. 

With a devilish grin he lifts Mark’s hips up to shove his sweatpants down, lips cradling his so tenderly yet so filthy as Mark rocks into Jeno’s palm, a content sigh ghosting into his mouth. Jeno can’t stop after that. 

He always feels like he’s on top of the world whenever he’s with Mark. He thinks that Mark’s touch brings forth a blazing glow that just fuels Jeno’s need and obsession. And Jeno thinks that being here—making Mark keen and moan and beg as he takes his time exploring him inside and out with gentle fingers and quiet praises of how good he is for him—is irreplaceable. 

Rolling over to empty bed sheets, grieving for the death of a homely presence that takes up his mind, body, and spirit, is nothing compared to this. 

Nothing compared to the feeling of Mark, so warm when he’s finally around him, and the way he looks at Jeno as if he hung the fucking stars in the sky all while Jeno is holding himself above him as he carefully sweeps his hips in a way that has Mark arching up off the mattress. 

He doesn’t think it’s possible to get any closer, but the incandescence the boy radiates right down to his bones is enough to make him want to sink into his chest and disappear. 

Mark’s fingers curl around the back of Jeno’s neck, and he hooks a leg around his waist as if reading his mind and trying to shift himself as close as he possibly can. The simple movement draws a low groan from Jeno’s throat, his hips stumbling for a moment as a warm hand wraps around his bicep. 

“Faster.” Mark begs, and Jeno is used to that. 

Everything has always been so fast with Mark, sending him into a whirlwind of pleasure and temporary highs and leaving him tumbling back to earth when it’s all over. 

But he’s not one to deny Mark anything, so at first Jeno obeys, and speeds up in a way that makes Mark’s head fall back against the pillows, nails digging into flesh as his throat loses all control over the sounds emitting from it. 

Jeno has to admit, it’s probably the hottest thing he’s ever seen, but he doesn’t let it last long. After a few seconds he slows everything down until it’s painful even for him, and feels the way Mark’s body shudders desperately against him like a hurricane is waiting to break free from burning flesh. 

“No, please don’t stop.” He whines, hazy eyes locking with Jeno’s in a way that intoxicates him. “ _ Please _ , Jeno.”

His fingers spread out over Jeno’s arm and he pants out breaths from between bruised lips. Jeno leans down and catches them in a slow kiss, Mark melting against him with a halfhearted moan. 

Jeno traces his flushed out cheek. “I love you. You know that?”

Mark nods quickly, eyes half lidded and unfocused as his lips ghost over Jeno’s. “Love you,” He mumbles back wearily, and Jeno finally moves again. 

The cry he catches in his mouth is hot and desperate, and he swallows it down as he rocks into Mark mercilessly, over and over again. He’s grateful they’re alone because the bed keeps knocking against the wall and Mark is just so damn  _ loud _ that it fills the room in an inappropriately satisfying manner. 

It’s all for Jeno.

The way Mark grabs and pulls and shakes as Jeno presses himself closer, skin hot and slick with sweat despite how cold it is outside. And the way Mark’s breaths stutter and choke as he sobs out profanities and Jeno’s name, his words slurring together the closer he gets. 

It’s intoxicating, and Jeno missed it so fucking bad. 

His pride swells as Mark’s flushed, tear stained face twists up before falling completely slack, his eyes disappearing behind fluttery lids as he sinks into the mattress. His fingers clench around Jeno’s skin, thighs anchored tight on his hips, and he tells him he loves him again. 

Every time he says it Jeno feels his world get flipped on its axis, but it makes his heart skip and his body warm. Even though Mark is currently a mess, blissfully fucked out and half coherent, it touches him all the same. 

He buries his head in the boy’s neck with a groan, and lets go. His body goes weak and he lays atop Mark’s lazily, trying desperately to catch his breath as the boy sets a gentle hand on the back of his head. 

“Holy shit…” He breathes out, and Jeno laughs weakly into his neck. 

“You okay?” 

Mark’s arms slowly slide around Jeno’s shoulders. “I think I went to another dimension.”

“Quit inflating my ego.”

“Dude,” Mark mumbles. “I’ve been dying to feel that way again.” 

“Couldn’t make do without me?” 

“That’s between me and my right hand.” 

Jeno laughs and presses a gentle kiss to Mark’s collar. His heartbeat slowly begins to return to normal and though his limbs still feel like jelly, he pushes up to look at Mark. His eyes are closed and his cheeks are still a hot red, and Jeno definitely thinks his surprise visit was worth it now. 

He brushes Mark’s sweaty bangs out of his eyes, watching as they blink open wearily to look up at Jeno with a lazy smile. 

“You should go.” He mumbles, his hand tracing Jeno’s ear. 

Jeno raises a brow. “So you get me to fuck you, then kick me out?” 

“Oh shut up.” Mark rolls his eyes before shutting them again, and Jeno peels himself off his chest. “I meant so you can have dinner.”

“I know what you meant.” Jeno’s tone softens, and he heads for the door to cross the hall and retrieve a towel. 

“I’ll see you later, though.” Mark says, and Jeno glances over his shoulder to unfortunately watch the boy use his discarded shirt to wipe at his chest and stomach delicately. 

“God, I hate when you do that.” He scowls, and Mark just scoffs before tossing the shirt to the floor and rolling onto his side. 

“Get used to it.” He mumbles, and Jeno feels a warmth erupting across his chest as he snuggles into his bed and lets his mouth fall open. 

He crosses the room and pulls the blanket over Mark, leaning down to press a kiss to his temple before grabbing his haphazardly thrown clothes. He stumbles his way to the door, pulling them back on as he leaves the boy to sleep, while simultaneously preparing to face his parents with his tugged on hair and flushed skin. 

“Hey Jeno?” Mark barely gets out, and Jeno glances over his shoulder one more time. 

“Yeah?”

“You look like you just had sex.” 

“Fuck off.” 

***

Jeno is back outside Mark’s door two hours later, bundled up in a coat and toque to shield him from the harsh December air. He teeters on the front porch following a swift knock, and waits for someone to answer the door. 

All the cars that reside in the driveway are there, so Jeno doesn’t really expect to have Mark answer the door. 

He can hear a bit of movement, and the door is slowly unlocked before being swung open to reveal who he thinks is kindness incarnate, Mark’s step mother standing in the front hall with a mixing bowl in hand and a smile on her face. 

It widens upon realizing Jeno is standing there, and she’s fast in discarding the bowl on the side table next to her. Her arms open and Jeno laughs. 

“Hi, Ms. Nakamoto.” He meets her embrace warmly, providing a gentle hug back at the same time a whine sounds from behind her. 

“Mama, I could have gotten the door.” Mark thumps his way down the stairs in a hurry, and Jeno pulls away to find him adjusting a black beanie on his head, simultaneously pushing dark bangs into his eyes. 

Jeno just smiles, and when their eyes meet he watches mesmerized as Mark’s cheeks are set ablaze, his feet staggering to a stop. 

“Hey.” Jeno nods, and his mother turns around before providing a harsh tsk. 

“Mark baby, you need to dress warmer. You’ll catch a cold.” She snatches a scarf off the coat hook, crossing the hall to wrap it around Mark’s neck hastily and draw a muffled groan from his lips. 

“Mama, what do you think I was coming down here to do?” He shoves the scarf from his mouth and waves her off, only earning a scoff and a shake of her head before she’s turning back around to retrieve the bowl. 

Jeno watches in amusement, and she looks at him with another tsk. 

“Always a handful.” She says softly, and Jeno nods affirmatively with a chuckle before she’s disappearing back into the house. 

Mark rolls his eyes and ventures into the foyer, unwinding the scarf from his neck only to sling around Jeno’s and pull him closer. The simple action draws a flurry to Jeno’s stomach, and he hums happily as his arms slide around Mark’s waist. 

“Someone’s being weird.”

Mark lets the scarf lay flat on Jeno’s chest, his hands wandering down his torso. “Make fun of me one more time and I swear I will never touch you again.”

“You’d die,” Jeno smirks, lowering his head as the urge to kiss the boy eats away at him. 

Mark just shrugs before letting their lips meet softly.

His fingers curl around the scarf again, dragging Jeno even closer as the harsh wind bites at his back from the still opened door. 

“Jesus, some of us don’t want frostbite.” A familiar voice complains before Yuta strides into the hallway, his arms wrapped around himself. “Oh come on guys.” 

Jeno pulls away to nudge the door shut as Mark’s cheeks turn a fiery red again, his eyes glaring as he faces his brother. 

“Fuck off, Yuta.” 

Opposed to fucking off, Yuta leans against the wall and eyes the pair of them. “Where are you two lovebirds headed tonight?” 

“I’m taking him to see some Christmas lights.” Jeno tells him, and earns a surprised sound from Mark at the same time Yuta coos. 

“Isn’t that romantic? Johnny would eat that shit up.”

“ _ Please _ . Go away.” Mark groans, his head thrown back in exasperation as his brother snickers and pushes off the wall. 

“Fine.” His finger points between Mark and Jeno. “Be safe.”

As soon as he’s gone, Mark is spinning around with widened eyes that catch Jeno quite off guard. “You’re taking me  _ where _ ?” 

“There’s a street that does Christmas lights and—”

“Jeno, you know I hate sappy shit.”

Jeno straightens his shoulders. “I don’t care. You always drag me along to do what you want to do.”

“Like what?” 

“ _ Like _ , go to parties, break into your old school, go to dinner, have sex in the back of your—”

“ _ Okay _ ,” Mark rushes to cut him off, eyes darting to the kitchen as his jaw tenses. “Fuck, fine. You can take me to see fucking  _ lights _ . I’m sure it’ll be really exciting.” 

“Don’t be a dick.” Jeno pushes him back by his shoulder, a familiar sense of irritation creeping up his spine like a grave reminder that yes, he loves Mark Lee to death, but he also can’t stand him sometimes. 

Mark just grumbles to himself as he hangs his scarf back up and instead, grabs his coat so he can shrug it on over his hoodie. Jeno rolls his eyes and grabs Mark by his sleeve, pulling him in to kiss the side of his head. 

“Simmer down, Mark Lee.”

***

If there’s one thing Jeno is positive about, it’s the fact that despite ample protest, Mark Lee does quite like sappy things. The photograph of their intertwined hands stuck to Jeno’s dashboard (a gift from Mark before Jeno left in the summer) is more than enough proof of that. It sits right in front of Mark as he slumps in Jeno’s passenger seat with his arms crossed over his chest, a look of complete disinterest on his face as Jeno slowly cruises down a street alive with twinkling Christmas lights that reflect off Mark’s eyes in the prettiest of ways. 

Jeno doesn’t mind putting up with his stupid act most times, because he knows deep down that Mark does in fact give a shit about things, and he’s slowly coming to terms with the idea that he’s allowed to.

Jeno’s hand on his thigh as it bounces just slightly, he lets out a sigh. “This is stupid.” 

“So was your fancy dinner idea.” Jeno fires back immediately, his mind filtering back to the way Mark looked in his fanciest clothes, bruised face glowing above a flickering candle as he smiled so warmly at Jeno from across the table.

“You said you liked it!” Mark snaps, and Jeno squeezes his leg to quell his excitement as he pulls off to the side of the road where other cars have parked in a line. 

“I did. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a ridiculous idea.” 

Mark shakes his hand off and lets out a grunt, clearly annoyed. “You’re being an asshole.”

“So are you.” Jeno rolls his eyes as the car shuts off and goes dark. The entire competition of who can piss the other off more is beyond childish and trivial, but he still smiles and reaches out a hand to graze Mark’s chin, tilting his head to look at him. “Relax, okay?”

Instinctively, Mark lets out a breath from pouty lips. Jeno always makes sure to cherish the way Mark seems to nuzzle into his touch—even just in slightest—almost like a kitten would. It’s one of the many endearing qualities the boy has to offer, and compels Jeno to lean over the console and press a kiss to his cheek, lingering just a little.

Mark immediately warms, and when Jeno pulls back he’s chewing on the inside of his cheek as if nervous, his eyes refusing to look at Jeno. He just unbuckles his seatbelt and pushes the passenger side door open, clambering out of the car hurriedly and forcing Jeno to follow suite. 

“Alright. Let’s get this over with.” He announces, glancing at Jeno over the top of the car. “ _ Lover boy _ .”

“You say that like it’s insulting.” 

“Isn’t it?”

“No. It’s kinda sweet if you ask me. Calling me your lover boy.” 

Mark makes a gagging noise. “I never said you were mine.” 

Jeno cocks his head teasingly as he rounds the car, slinging an arm around Mark’s shoulders as a way of pushing him onto the sidewalk so they can start walking. The boy does so begrudgingly, despite the way his eyes flicker around to look at the houses all decorated for the holidays in extravagant ways. 

Jeno loves the way the world looks when it’s shining in Mark’s eyes. It gives him such an innocent glimmer—a lost burst of childlike wonder that he doesn’t think Mark experienced enough when he was younger. And with the way his face seems to soften more with every step he takes, Jeno might believe that he hasn’t seen such whimsy or beauty before. 

He slides his arm down from Mark’s shoulders to gently link their fingers together, and Mark holds on tighter than expected. 

Jeno doesn’t say a word, just indulges in the semi-sweetness he so craved. 

They walk for a while, silence between them while the rest of the street is alive with conversation and children’s laughter. That is, until Mark comes to a stop just outside a house near the end of the street, eyes travelling up the walkway that’s lined with trees covered in twinkling lights. There’s a sign out front that welcomes visitors to explore the overly decorated yard, and so Jeno points at it with a tiny smile that makes Mark nod enthusiastically. 

The pair head up the walkway, lights passing over their heads as arches until they’re at the top.

Jeno looks at Mark, who’s still fixated on the lights like a child and asks, “Wanna get a picture?” 

His eyes widen and he looks around at the other people there. “Isn’t that embarrassing?”

“I don’t care, do you?” 

Mark seems to shift from foot to foot before shrugging. “I guess not.” 

Jeno cheers at that, flagging down the nearest person. It clearly does embarrass Mark quite a lot to hear him ask the lady to take a picture of them, but she agrees happily and takes Jeno’s phone from his hand. 

He notices as he turns to face her, that’s Mark is still clutched in his other. He lets go and instead wraps his arms around Mark’s waist from the side, drawing a squeak from the boy as he’s laying his head on his shoulder. 

“Jeno!” Mark laughs, and Jeno hopes to god that the lady caught them like that.

He needs a memento like that, where Mark isn’t faking his joy for the camera (or just to please Jeno).

“You two are so sweet.” The lady coos as she’s passing Jeno’s phone back to him, a grin on her face. “Happy holidays.”

“You too,” The pair chorus, before Jeno grabs Mark’s hand again and pulls him a few more steps into the yard. 

Mark is quiet again, but Jeno doesn’t mind. He quite enjoys admiring the way Mark looks when he’s happy, and right now he  _ is _ . He might not be smiling, but Jeno has learned to identify a certain glimmer that appears in Mark’s eyes when his heart is up high in the clouds and his cheeks are rosy with bashfulness opposed to cold. He turns to him and reaches out a hand, pinching one between his fingers.

“What are you thinking about?” He asks softly, and much to his surprise Mark doesn’t groan or grimace at his show of affection. 

He just licks and his lips and refuses to look at him as he says, “Would you wanna get a house like this someday? And decorate it so that all the kids in the neighbourhood can come see it?”

Jeno tilts his head. “In general… or do you mean with you?” 

“With me.” Mark rushes to get out, as if he’s trying to admit it before his mouth stops him.

Jeno pouts. “Of course I want that.” 

Mark’s head snaps to look at him. “Really?”

“Really.” 

“Would you ever wanna like… have your own kids someday?”

Jeno marvels at that. “Do  _ you  _ want kids?” 

Mark swallows hard and quickly looks back to the house. “I don’t know. Maybe.” 

Jeno chuckles, leaning in the press his lips to Mark’s cheek which warms despite the frigid air around them. He rests his nose on his skin for just a moment before asking in a whisper, “You seem happy. Why didn’t you want to come here?” 

At that, Mark swallows hard again. Jeno pulls closer, sliding his arm around his waist again and resting his head on his shoulder in hopes of bringing forth even a little comfort. It seems to bode well with Mark, who hums and nuzzles his head against his, blowing out a gentle sigh.

“It’s stupid.”

“Just tell me.” 

“You were gone for a while.” Mark blurts out the obvious, and Jeno just hums lightly to urge him on. “You were gone and you probably met a bunch of people and… I don’t know. I just thought that after all of that, if you saw me next to something  _ objectively  _ beautiful that you... wouldn’t think I was anymore.” 

Jeno hates the feeling of Mark’s hand trembling against his, and he hates the feeling of his stomach dropping so harshly that it hurts. He lifts his head to look at the boy who holds the universe in his eyes and Jeno in his heart, and he feels his own break at the thought of Mark still not being able to fully believe he loves him. 

He laces their fingers together properly, earning a desperate squeeze that silently begs for reassurance. Yes, Mark might be harsh, and sharp and sarcastic. He’s the farthest thing from gentle, and his knuckles are painted with blues and purples from something Jeno doesn’t even want to ask about. 

But Mark is his. 

“Look at me.” He demands gently, and Mark chews his cheek as he does what he’s told. “You are everything to me. No time and no person could change that.” 

Mark nods quickly, but Jeno isn’t finished. 

“I love you.”

“I know. I just—”

“Get scared. I know.” 

“You make me sound like a pussy.” Mark mumbles, before turning his body so it faces Jeno properly. He slides his arms around his waist and looks up at him with his eyes full of wonder. “You really want to be with me?” 

“Of course I do.” Jeno whispers, leaning down to ghost his lips over Mark’s. 

“Would you want to… actually be with me?” 

Jeno pulls away rapidly. “Mark Lee, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?” 

“If it means I don’t have to worry about you seeing other guys when you’re gone, then yes.” 

“You didn’t have to worry about that before, Mark.” 

“Just say  _ yes _ .” Mark groans, and Jeno laughs before kissing him properly. 

“Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Mark breathes out a laugh and kisses him back, filling him with that same light that he always emits. It makes Jeno feel warm and  _ complete _ . 

“You know what?”

“What, Mark?” 

“I think I like  _ boyfriend _ .”

“Oh yeah?” Jeno grins against his mouth, the lights still twinkling happily above them. 

“Yeah. It’s sexy.” 

“Just wait until you’re my husband.” Jeno mumbles, and Mark lets out a moan that’s fake, yet obnoxiously loud.

  
“God Jeno,  _ come on _ . There are kids around.” 


End file.
